the dopamine diary
I have been reflecting on my mood over the last week or so, I have caught myself taking short cuts to feeling good!
What do I mean by this? Well I need to introduce dopamine. It is a neurotransmitter and hormone that is produced in the brain. Often know as the ‘feel good hormone’, associated with pleasure, motivation and satisfaction.
It was designed to be released slowly in our brains, generally when we engaged in behaviours that increased our survival – hunting, exploring, mating, cooking, foraging, exploring.
However, we have created ‘quick dopamine’, a way of accessing the feeling with no effort. These quick hits, spike and crash causing us to feel low. Examples of this are – sugar, alcohol, nicotine, scrolling, shopping, gaming, porn.
Over the past 5 years, I have shifted my mindset, in no small part due to building habits and behaviours that create a slow dopamine release, leading to ‘long term joy’ as opposed to ‘short term fun’. These include – running, weightlifting, cold water swimming and reading.
However, with my partner away for 18 days in June working, time has become much tighter with the responsibility of 100% of parenting, working and general life admin (sending huge love to all the single parents in the world).
While I have been very boundaried at protecting time for myself over the past 5 years, it has been inevitable that some practices have had to be paused for a short time. Despite being knowing all this, I have tripped into the trap of ‘short term fun’. I have spent more time on my phone. I have eaten more processed and sugary foods. I have drunk more alcohol. All in the cause of ‘feeling good’.
I have learnt not to beat myself up about this. I notice my mood has changed, my patience with my kids is not where it needs to be, yet I am only human, trying to do my best. These old patterns and behaviours can challenge us and call us back, especially when they make you feel good! I love these words of Yung Puelbo.
“sometimes we go back
to our old life
for a little while
to remember
that it no longer fits”
So to all of you people, making a change, doing the work, pushing outside of your comfort zone, knowing there is another way to do this thing called life, I say 2 things.
Work on your slow release dopamine habits to build ‘long term joy’.
Don’t give up if you fall back into old, well worn ways of being, growth is not a straight line.